Childbirth: They say it's a beautiful thing... they are MISTAKEN!
It was gross, and about as private as taking a dump in front of a large audience. First you get a thorough shave "down there" then it's Me in all my grand, fat nakedness, sprawled out on an operating table while they pull what, at first, looks like a huge, slimy purple amphibian from my womb. I'd love to forget almost the whole of the experience, besides the end. I'm happy to mother this little feces factory. He's cranky, stinky, has lopsided ears and an insatiable appetite for boob, but I love this little metaphorical fruit of my literal loins.
It was gross, and about as private as taking a dump in front of a large audience. First you get a thorough shave "down there" then it's Me in all my grand, fat nakedness, sprawled out on an operating table while they pull what, at first, looks like a huge, slimy purple amphibian from my womb. I'd love to forget almost the whole of the experience, besides the end. I'm happy to mother this little feces factory. He's cranky, stinky, has lopsided ears and an insatiable appetite for boob, but I love this little metaphorical fruit of my literal loins.
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