You know what I Hate? ...

INDISCRETE PUBLIC NOSE-BLOWING, and Loogie hawking!

That's right.. I'll be the one to say it. Please don't blow your nasal treasures, or expell your slimy epiglotal inhibitors within hearing distance of others (at least myself!)

I am generally not one who is easily grossed out. But I have limits. The threshhold has been crossed when MUCUS becomes audible! Okay, I understand that sometimes we are in a public place and find ourselves with a surprise beak leak and no place private to go. Notice that the hate description includes the word "Indiscrete." Go ahead and blow softly, as if trying to extinguish candles on a booger birthday cake. If you find that inadequate.. look harder for that private corner. A soundproof panic room would be ideal!

I really get the heavies when I am somewhere respectable and public (like a bank or in church) and my ears are raped by the sound of someone who just HAD to blow their Nose-Chunks RIGHT in the middle of a crowd. Unacceptable! Especially when they snuff, huff, and puff so hard that you can actually distinguish the exact moment the solidified mucus chunks hit the hanky! COME ON!

And there's that second group.. who don't carry tissue or hankies, or understand that bathrooms everywhere have solutions to this oversight. The "Snarffler." Oh yes.. you know who you are, and you know just what this word means because the sound a snarffler makes actually sounds like Snarffle! They don't casually sniff; they snarf. They are trying to avoid blowing their noses by inhibiting the mucus by sucking it all back in. Think about this.. it's really just like blowing your nose backwards! Back to main point. What you're Hearing during this process is that Phlegm rattling in the back of their throat whith overtones of that rumbling nose sound I can only describe as sounding like a nasal jack-hammer. This is followed by the classic "hawct-tooey" as whatever the jack-hammer has loosened goes flying through the air to land who knows where. These people generally don't consider the physics of projectile throat chunks.

I PLEAD! When blowing something out your nose, or shooting it out your mouth, do it where you expell bodily fluids from your other Orifices! I don't want to hear the gurgle of your phlegm just as much as I don't want to hear the crackle of your bowel movement, Nkay?

This is my petition.. and so I close.