"Why"s for the Wise.. the first installment

(For Shelsi)

I often ponder the inconsequencial. Thought I should add this segment to my blog to get my questions out there.. and possibly some of them answered! I will add more installments as my curiousity continuously prowls into those upside down alleys of my mind.

Here is what I have been thinking about lately...


~Why is it that my kid can sleep half the night in his own vomit.. Yet I can’t even sleep if I hear a clock ticking, or if my clothes are twisted at all, or if I feel like my pillow is permanently bending my eyebrow hairs the wrong way?!

~Why do I get self-conscious when I think too much of my socks show under my pants when I sit, but would not be embarrassed to moon 80% of the people I know?

~Why is it more comfortable for me to be around a corpse than any kind of circus-folk? (shudder)

~Why would any company think that when putting clients on hold they will be more patient, and the experience more pleasant, when there is music playing in the background, if the music is PERRY COMO?!

~If toenail clippers were alive, would the clipping part be their mouth? If so… EWW!

~Does Brad Pit’s toilet feel lucky to be in that position? Does it brag to it’s bathroom fixture friends?

~If my brain produced more Serotonin, would I be more outgoing OR would I be happy to be left the hell alone because I wouldn’t need anyone?

~Should we really be threatened by those seemingly perfect magazine cover models/celebrities? Have you ever considered that they may actually grow more hairs on their big toes than you do? I bet they do; no one can have it all.

~If someone KNOWS that they’re stupid… shouldn’t that deem them less stupid than the unaware?

~Most people seem to have those three looming cosmic questions… “Where did I come from? Why am I here? and Where am I going?” .. I think I am pretty confident in the answers to these, but what I’m constantly wondering is how the hell the universe always seems to have an uneven number of socks?!!!!