A tribute to Space Ghost

"Have you ever made a beef log baby? One time I made a whole villiage of beef log babies.

You ever pretend that the villiage of beef log babies rise up and try to kill your head? That's when I have to lie down."

~How I miss the cartoon network.

"Nataphors"

I am adding a new series to my blog. I shall call it "The Nataphor Series." What is a Nataphor, you ask? It's similar to a "Metaphor", except it's more related to Nat, then to Met ... whoever that is.

Nataphor of Bowls

You know, Sometimes life really can be like a bowl of cherries. Other times, just so the cherries don't get cocky, life is more like a bowl of toilet water. And sometimes what seemed like good cherries end up right in the middle of that toilet bowl.



I gotta start remembering to spit out that stupid pit, instead of thinking there can be no harm in sucking everything I can out of life's good moments. Being joyously careless can result in some really uncomfortable bowel movements.. and cherry bowl glutteny can result in some serious diarrhea.

Don't be too put off by circumstances such as hypothetical pit poop.. when it happens, just flush my friends; flush and forget.

Little known Nat-facts

1. If I see something that looks soft or fluffy, I HAVE to touch it. I once woke up an old man sitting in front of me on an airplane because I stroked his hair.

2. I never screw the milk lid on all the way

3. I will NOT eat blue food under any circumstances

4. I wear my underwear inside out all the time by mistake

5. I'm a germ-a-phobe.. I will not touch bathroom doors without a paper towel, and I open public doors with my feet. I hate baths because I feel like I'm soaking in my own filth. I wash my hands at least 10 times while cooking, BUT I don't always wash apples before eating them! I have no explanation for this.

6. I turn my pillow over about 10 times a night because I like the cold side

7. I listen to Light FM 100 when no one is in the car with me. SHUT UP, I LIKE DAN FOGLEBURG!

8. I CAN'T STAND PT CRUISERS! Seeing one can ruin my day.

9. I wear tube socks to church under my dress boots

10. I would agree with People Magazine, that George Cloony could be the sexiest man alive, IF he had two separate eyebrows.

Isn't it Ironic..

Have you ever been in the middle of something important, like the the season premier of HOUSE, and heard an unexpected yet enthusiastic knock on the door? You hesitate.. because the Doc is about to deliver a classic metaphorical insult or clever euphemism, but decide it couldn't hurt to see who's come to visit.

You distractedly open the door. You see two to three sweating individuals dressed up in smiles and flowery polyester to share the Good News!

Then when you smile back.. they will share with you that news! And the news is..... That you've been deceived and are going straight to hell with most of the population! Oh, thank the Lord, you think.. It could have been the Amway guy!

You Know What I Hate? 2008... Dryer Sheets!

Okay, so I cannot say that I am NOT the kind of person that enjoys soft clean clothes smelling Snuggly Fresh. I really do, in fact, I use both liquid fabric softener and dryer sheets to enhance the chemical olfactory illusion of smelling not only clean.. but also like I've just frolicked through a meadow of wild flowers.

My problem is this: Used dryer sheets never go away, they're like Herpes.. you don't always notice an outbreak, but they're always there.. under the surface somewhere waiting for an inopportune moment to pop up.

I find dryer sheets EVERYWHERE, no matter how many times I KNOW I've thrown them away. I really believe that the first dryer sheet I ever used is, at this very moment, clinging to the inside of a pair of my pants. I've often been surprised to find that a persistant itch throughout a work day has turned out to be a stowaway sheet statically plastered to my underwear. They take up house in our towels, there's a community of them under the washing machine, and heaven help us from a surprise attack when we open a sock drawer!

Perhaps I need to re-evaluate my brand choices. I have been partial to Snuggle and Bounce: I may be bringing this on myself by chosing products that suggest they snuggle up to your unsnuggly parts, or bounce back whenever thrown out!

I think I must now clarify... I do not have Herpes.